If You Can't Say Something Nice...
Hmm...my blog has gone silent. Not because I didn't have anything to say, no, that's rarely the case. I just took some time to decide what I wanted to write about. That is, what I wanted to expend energy and thought upon, not just a rant. Baby steps.
With all the "breaking up" going on lately with the 'not-friends', I'm missing my sister terribly, who lives in Ohio. She's the crazy one, always has something going on and talks waaay too much. It's part of what I love about her. She's one of the strongest and most giving people I know, but she'd never say that about herself. She's always feeling guilty about not doing enough for the people she loves and she's too hard on herself. She works harder and longer than any man I've ever known and never complains about it. She welcomes challenges, but doesn't take time for herself. Last year we nearly lost her to 6+ blood clots in her veins. Several in her leg, groin, and lower back. She has a permanent stint and refuses to take blood thinners. I can't imagine how quiet and dull the world would be without her. I would be lost.
This morning she wrecked her car. She was driving home from her overnight job and must have hit some ice or something on the interstate. She lost control and hit the wall. Luckily it was early enough (around 6am) that there were no other cars, and she didn't get seriously injured. But the car may not be quite as okay. Seems the rear axle is either bent or broken as one of the wheels was shoved up under the wheel well. She's older than I am by about 4 years. She grew up working on cars and was the only girl in high school in the auto body class. She's not a bad driver and has never had this happen. Luckily she's okay physically...so far, but I know her, and she's blaming herself for not pulling out of slide/spin. Forgiving herself will be a long road.
My sister and I didn't always get along. We were typical siblings, typical girls bickering over stupid stuff. I always wanted to do whatever she was doing, and she was the typical older sister wanting to do things without little me tagging along. But what we did do together I remember vividly.
The garage at our house was an old barn. It had a hay loft in the top that we turned into a sort of clubhouse. She did push me out the side door once...that kind of sucked...but most of our time up there was a lot of fun. She decided one day without permission, to get a bunny. She took the Radio Flyer wagon to the local hardware store just down the street, bought 4 screens, some nails, and 2 hinges. She build a cage and kept it in the loft. It was about 2 weeks later that my mom found out. My sister was 11. And my mom let her keep the rabbit since she proved she could obviously take care of it herself.
Our parents divorced the year before. That wasn't easy for any of us, but especially my sister and me. We were both pretty close to our dad, always casting bullets, learning to shoot the different rifles, riding around on the motorbike or riding mower, driving the old '36 Ford or the '42 Chevy to and from our grandparent's house...She wanted to live with him when the custody issues arose. And because I followed her everywhere, I wanted to go too. Well, because she was 12, she got to go, but I had to stay with my mom because I was only 7. While I am incredibly happy to have spent that time with my mom now, I was crushed at the time. I was angry and sad, and I felt like I had lost both my dad and my sister at the same time. We still saw each other every weekend, but it just wasn't the same. Inevitably, we grew apart and saw each other less and less. The most I saw her after that was my freshman year in high school, and only because she was a senior then. It just wasn't the same. She had her friends, her likes and dislikes, her routines and issues. And I had mine.
Eventually I moved away and she moved on. But the longer we have been apart, the closer we've gotten. While I know she wouldn't wish on me moving back to Ohio (I dread the thought), I do know how important she makes me feel, and I hope I've given her that as well. Friends come and go, but sisters are forever.
With all the "breaking up" going on lately with the 'not-friends', I'm missing my sister terribly, who lives in Ohio. She's the crazy one, always has something going on and talks waaay too much. It's part of what I love about her. She's one of the strongest and most giving people I know, but she'd never say that about herself. She's always feeling guilty about not doing enough for the people she loves and she's too hard on herself. She works harder and longer than any man I've ever known and never complains about it. She welcomes challenges, but doesn't take time for herself. Last year we nearly lost her to 6+ blood clots in her veins. Several in her leg, groin, and lower back. She has a permanent stint and refuses to take blood thinners. I can't imagine how quiet and dull the world would be without her. I would be lost.
This morning she wrecked her car. She was driving home from her overnight job and must have hit some ice or something on the interstate. She lost control and hit the wall. Luckily it was early enough (around 6am) that there were no other cars, and she didn't get seriously injured. But the car may not be quite as okay. Seems the rear axle is either bent or broken as one of the wheels was shoved up under the wheel well. She's older than I am by about 4 years. She grew up working on cars and was the only girl in high school in the auto body class. She's not a bad driver and has never had this happen. Luckily she's okay physically...so far, but I know her, and she's blaming herself for not pulling out of slide/spin. Forgiving herself will be a long road.
My sister and I didn't always get along. We were typical siblings, typical girls bickering over stupid stuff. I always wanted to do whatever she was doing, and she was the typical older sister wanting to do things without little me tagging along. But what we did do together I remember vividly.
The garage at our house was an old barn. It had a hay loft in the top that we turned into a sort of clubhouse. She did push me out the side door once...that kind of sucked...but most of our time up there was a lot of fun. She decided one day without permission, to get a bunny. She took the Radio Flyer wagon to the local hardware store just down the street, bought 4 screens, some nails, and 2 hinges. She build a cage and kept it in the loft. It was about 2 weeks later that my mom found out. My sister was 11. And my mom let her keep the rabbit since she proved she could obviously take care of it herself.
Our parents divorced the year before. That wasn't easy for any of us, but especially my sister and me. We were both pretty close to our dad, always casting bullets, learning to shoot the different rifles, riding around on the motorbike or riding mower, driving the old '36 Ford or the '42 Chevy to and from our grandparent's house...She wanted to live with him when the custody issues arose. And because I followed her everywhere, I wanted to go too. Well, because she was 12, she got to go, but I had to stay with my mom because I was only 7. While I am incredibly happy to have spent that time with my mom now, I was crushed at the time. I was angry and sad, and I felt like I had lost both my dad and my sister at the same time. We still saw each other every weekend, but it just wasn't the same. Inevitably, we grew apart and saw each other less and less. The most I saw her after that was my freshman year in high school, and only because she was a senior then. It just wasn't the same. She had her friends, her likes and dislikes, her routines and issues. And I had mine.
Eventually I moved away and she moved on. But the longer we have been apart, the closer we've gotten. While I know she wouldn't wish on me moving back to Ohio (I dread the thought), I do know how important she makes me feel, and I hope I've given her that as well. Friends come and go, but sisters are forever.
I completely love this, just read it now. Anyone who you'd break up with isn't worth keeping around anyway. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou always had a way to make me laugh,(shoehorn). Sometimes just get me to smile,(gremlins). Never in a million years did I ever imagine you'd be so close to my heart to bring such tears of joy. You are my sister and life with you has been the greatest even when you didn't think so.
ReplyDelete