Silent Chaos
There's that silent chaos again. Snow. Falling so hastily, so absurd with the up, down, left and right. But not a sound. Peaceful, silent chaos.
Silent chaos. In a lot of ways, we always hope our children grow up like us. Strong, athletic, smart, maybe she'll be artistic, or he'll love science. In other ways, we hope they never experience some of what we've gone through. For when they have, where do we turn, who do we trust, and how do we teach them to be strong? Their silence speaks volumes, but only if you can hear it. Silent chaos. Of a different kind.
Silent chaos. It's a circle. Or a figure eight. Or a beautiful mess. It goes back to hoping they grow up like us. Strength. Courage. Integrity. Accountability. Knowing right from wrong and being able to hold others accountable to our standards, not lowering them for those not able to meet. It's your life. You have to live with it for the rest of your life. Take control. Draw your boundaries. And never be afraid to let go of the people who don't meet your standards. If they're worth it, they'll up their own. Never expect people to change, but rather expect respect. If you don't get respect, they're not worth keeping around. Testing boundaries is normal; however, never compromise your own values in order to experiment with the reactions and emotions of others. You get one chance at a first for everything. Just one.
You never want them to hurt. Ever. You understand that some hurt helps them grow. It's fertilizer for the future...the shit they must go through to become greater things. But some shit should never...ever...ever happen. And all you can do is support, love, and be. But where would you stop? What are your limits? What wouldn't you do to keep your children safe, or right any wrongs? What happened to humanity? My heart breaks. And my mind is busy.
No regrets. Just a natural instinct to protect, to make right, to defend. And I will. No matter what it takes.
One life. Make it count...make it count.
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Gee whiz, im glad i read that. For one, silent chaos is exactly what i think of snow. Secondly, some really crappy stuff is going on and i had to make a really tough decision concerning my kids. Idk what your stance was when i posted about my ex wife moving with the kids to Cali. But almost everyone basically said "get a lawyer!" Or "don't let her do it!" And i really dont want her to move that far away. It sucks. I'll miss them girls terribly every day, but ya know what? Im not a good Guy. Sure im friendly and helpful and nice to puppies and strangers. But (other than my plans to have you come "chill" in the underground school bus for a while... Or forever) i suck as an adult. Im ill equipped to take care of myself for the most part. If it wasn't for tracy i may never put food into my own body, i read this and think your correct, i dont want to see my children hurt and i don't want them experiencing the life i did. I kind of want them to go be rich and spoiled. I likely could never do that for them. Ill get them for summers and they'll get all the material possessions girls ned in the mean time. Thats what i thought about and im a sharer.
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